Now a days there are various groups on the social media where one can share their business options, their achievements, their personal problems, insecurities, concerns with parenting etc and the other members in the group are free to give their advice, inputs and suggestions. Reading through one such posts I came across a women’s personal concern in which she shared her details and asked for advice. ‘HELP/SUGGESTION/ADVICE NEEDED’ was how her post began ! It was about her husband whom she was married to for 8 years now, a love marriage, where she was very happy during the initial 7 years but now from past the 1 years was upset and doubting if her husband was homo-sexual and having an affair with his boss. The reason behind her insecurity was that her husband was constantly on phone with his boss, many a times had lunch with him during office hours and was coming home very late on most of the days. More so from the time of lock down he was devoting all his time to office work and was on the phone with his boss for long hours. So much so was her insecurity that she attributed her husband’s recent promotion in office to some secret personal favors that her husband would be offering to the boss and in the light of all this she was confused if she should end this marriage with her supposedly ‘disloyal’ husband.
There were a number of responses to her post, a few encouraging her to confront her husband and sort it out, a few advising her to think about the number of years they spent together and quietly hold on, a few agreeing to her notion that ‘disloyalty’ in marriage is unforgivable and should not be tolerated. I, on the other hand was thinking that the poor husband who was working so hard to probably shoulder his responsibility towards his family would be clueless of all that is going on in his wife’s mind and would be unaware of the dissection of their personal life going on on the operation table of the social media platform by unknown people, total strangers who were theoretically examining their real situation from the comfort of their homes, listening to one side of the issue and deciphering the ultimate solution out of her supposed life crisis.
One of the key benefits of advancement in technology is that just with a click of a button a lot of information and knowledge is at one’s disposal to read, infer from and learn. Goggle for one has a solution to all of the problems, queries, concerns and issues that one would want to know about. Right from twenty best positions to conceive a child to stages of fetal development during pregnancy, from ten best ways to attract a life partner to twenty ways of having a happy married life. Which course to pursue, how to get a job, how to impress your boss to get a promotion, seven steps to have a satisfied life, how, how, how and infinite numbers of ‘HOWS’ ! For a person who is loosing sleep over personal issues internet is a ‘boon’, (definitely not for real, but that’s what we have turned it into) for answering all his insecurities in an instance, just like some loyal and loving 2 a.m. friend.
If only life were as certain as the alphabetic order where B follows A and C follows B, internet would replace completely all the need to have a socio-emotional contact with any human being. What has happened to our relationships? To our inter-personal communication? How and when a stranger became more reliable to judge and decide what happens under our roof, in our lives?
Human beings, the so called highest creation of God who are re-markedly differentiated on the basis of advancement of their brain, capacity to think and create, the highly intelligent primates who dominate the world are in reality as scared and as insecure as any other creature that exists but that fear is permitted only within the frame of one’s mind. Externally we have created a false and enormous perception of ‘perfection’, ‘success’ and ‘happiness’ which are parameters to define who we are and probably that is precisely why we have a lot of dissatisfaction and stress in the first place.
There is an immense Fear Of Missing Out which ends up pressuring one to believe that if they don’t have the perfect pictures of annual family get away, the pictures of hugging each other and smiling, the picture of anything and everything that seems perfect on their wall, life would actually fall apart.
The irony of our situation is in the pursuit of worldly image of happiness the inner happiness is a lost cause which one SECRETLY DESIRES BUT READILY FORGETS to pursuE.
I am definitely not running an anti promotion campaign against the internet or any of the social media platforms nor against our reliable and most trusted search engine ‘Google’ but I surely want to run that thought through your mind that we must release ourselves from the pressure of meeting up to others definition of what life should be, we must stop rejecting ourselves and start accepting who we are, we must try to live in the moment, experience life as it is meant to be for real and to calm down our curious mind from running at a speed of 560 horsepower in a pursuit to know it all !
Theoretically, excessive knowledge might be the key to score a 100%, to achieve perfection in performance based report cards, but ‘life’ is not theory, its a practical that one performs daily, that one lives through. Use the internet only for the purpose it is meant to be used, to gain ‘theoretical knowledge’. Don’t give it the ability to define your life journey nor the ability to take away from you your human contacts and relationships.
We readily accept that one’s shoes or dress wont fit the other and that’s perfectly okay in our mind, if only we would be as accepting and open minded to all the other aspects of our lives, if only we would always remember that our life and our relations are ours to live, that it is not everyone’s cup of tea, life would be so simple and simple as is always easy, pure, alluring and peaceful, isn’t it?