Have you come across someone who has gone through a broken marriage or a difficult relationship, had a miscarriage or is still finding it difficult to conceive, is still single or is going through any other such ‘not so fortunate’ experiences of life on their personal front as seen through the eyes of the society…?
So the first thought that crosses one’s mind when they meet or hear of any such person is immediately of concern which very often knowingly or unknowingly turns into a critical evaluation and judgment of what could have gone wrong?’
After all marriage, pregnancy, relationships, all of it is so normal, we all are having these in our life and are adjusting to it so how come he/she who has not been too blessed in that aspect of life has landed in such a position?
Maybe it’s one of his/her own short comings, some personal lacking, some non adjusting, adamant attitude and a list of all the other such negatively phrased expressions that can be concluded to find a ‘fault’ in the person who is going through that difficult phase.
Men too face a difficult time when they go through such personal problems but with women the extent of challenges is way beyond, for sadly many a times, even the family where she is born into doesn’t really stand by her side through a socially challenging phase.
The absence of goodness and integrity is quickly accepted, the presence is unfortunately always critically evaluated though.!
All the years of modernisation, evolution and empowerment has not really erased that view yet, right? Women are subjected to strict evaluation and criticism by not only men but also by other women alike to make her feel less of a person than who she really is..!
So it brings us back to the question “whose fault is it, anyways?” Yes, we all always want to define responsibilities and roles, put things and people into compartments and boxes of right and wrong, we are always in a hurry to quickly pass a verdict and a judgment.
If only our judicial system could function at a similar pace in pronouncing judgments without knowing the complete facts, evidence or details, just on hear- say basis, using its own preconceived notions, there would be no pending matters in any of the courts. Whether the justice would be delivered or not is a question apart.!
I believe its not really anyone’s fault who goes through a difficult time, no one really enters a marriage to walk out of it, no one starts a relationship to run away from it, no one wants to experience miscarriage, loss of a baby or struggle to conceive one, it’s something that life chose for them to go through and they have no option other than to face it strongly. And no!, they are not looking for sympathy, nor asking for pity, instead they only need acceptance, non-judgmental treatment from the society and the respect for their personal privacy and right to live…!
The world was never ours to give to anyone anyways, we are nothing but just a micro minuscule particle of the universe dependent on the plant’s food process of photosynthesis to breathe in the oxygen that ‘they’ produce for our own survival. We are definitely not the Almighty nor the all powerful creation of the God as we claim to be, let’s learn to be what we were born as, a ‘human’ first !, and let others breathe, survive and mutually co-exist without the pressure of our interference or our judgements..!