Whose fault is it anyways ?

Have you come across someone who has gone through a broken marriage or a difficult relationship, had a miscarriage or is still finding it difficult to conceive, is still single or is going through any other such ‘not so fortunate’ experiences of life on their personal front as seen through the eyes of the society…?

So the first thought that crosses one’s mind when they meet or hear of any such person is immediately of concern which very often knowingly or unknowingly turns into a critical evaluation and judgment of what could have gone wrong?’

After all marriage, pregnancy, relationships, all of it is so normal, we all are having these in our life and are adjusting to it so how come he/she who has not been too blessed in that aspect of life has landed in such a position?

Maybe it’s one of his/her own short comings, some personal lacking, some non adjusting, adamant attitude and a list of all the other such negatively phrased expressions that can be concluded to find a ‘fault’ in the person who is going through that difficult phase.

Men too face a difficult time when they go through such personal problems but with women the extent of challenges is way beyond, for sadly many a times, even the family where she is born into doesn’t really stand by her side through a socially challenging phase.

The absence of goodness and integrity is quickly accepted, the presence is unfortunately always critically evaluated though.!

Through our religious books and mythologies too it isn’t uncommon to read that a lady was put through undue and unjustified assessment to prove her virtue and gain her respect.

All the years of modernisation, evolution and empowerment has not really erased that view yet, right? Women are subjected to strict evaluation and criticism by not only men but also by other women alike to make her feel less of a person than who she really is..!

So it brings us back to the question “whose fault is it, anyways?” Yes, we all always want to define responsibilities and roles, put things and people into compartments and boxes of right and wrong, we are always in a hurry to quickly pass a verdict and a judgment.

If only our judicial system could function at a similar pace in pronouncing judgments without knowing the complete facts, evidence or details, just on hear- say basis, using its own preconceived notions, there would be no pending matters in any of the courts. Whether the justice would be delivered or not is a question apart.!

I believe its not really anyone’s fault who goes through a difficult time, no one really enters a marriage to walk out of it, no one starts a relationship to run away from it, no one wants to experience miscarriage, loss of a baby or struggle to conceive one, it’s something that life chose for them to go through and they have no option other than to face it strongly. And no!, they are not looking for sympathy, nor asking for pity, instead they only need acceptance, non-judgmental treatment from the society and the respect for their personal privacy and right to live…!

The world was never ours to give to anyone anyways, we are nothing but just a micro minuscule particle of the universe dependent on the plant’s food process of photosynthesis to breathe in the oxygen that ‘they’ produce for our own survival. We are definitely not the Almighty nor the all powerful creation of the God as we claim to be, let’s learn to be what we were born as, a ‘human’ first !, and let others breathe, survive and mutually co-exist without the pressure of our interference or our judgements..!

14 thoughts on “Whose fault is it anyways ?

  1. Ma’am – what a lovely true article. Every individual needs to understand it.
    Very apt article and perfectly drafted.
    Great…Kudos to your thinking and skills.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Rajat 😊

      I am glad you appreciate my thoughts and writing skills.

      I wish the world becomes a better, less judgmental, more understanding and accepting place for all to peacefully survive and the change has to start with us, each one of us.

      Like

  2. Nice article sonali… but It’s difficult to be non judgmental alwaz.. but ofcourse not impossible too…. conditioning of mind and upbringing and lack of self introspection are root causes of it…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Vaishali…

      I totally agree that it’s not possible to be non judgmental all the while but through this article I intend to bring that thought to forefront of my reader’s mind that we need to put in efforts to become more human, more accepting and less critical of other’s journey of which we actually know nothing.

      We need to start, we need to try and as parents we need to guide our children and behave accordingly for them to see, experience and learn.

      It’s a long way to go but each step in the right direction definitely counts.!

      Like

  3. Hey Sonali… very well written. I really appreciate your thoughts and the presentation of it… really if one stops judging world can be much better place to live….the metaphore of micro particle to our existence is also a great thought…. keep up the good work….

    Liked by 1 person

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