Today morning he woke up earlier than usual. After finishing his routine chores he dressed up timely in well ironed clothes with neatly combed hair, polished shoes and left with me from home to take the cab. As I sat next to him, I could see that he was ensuring to be on his best behavior today just like every child does on his PTM.(Parent Teacher Meeting)

We were waiting in the cabin and as soon as the doctor entered the room, he stood up and greeted him. After I had a  brief discussion with the doctor about his further course of treatment, he thanked him nicely and sat down and when the doctor appreciated him saying, “uncle aap toh bohot brave ho, choti moti surgery se aap darte nahi, itne acchese muskura rahe hai,bohot accha laga. Mujhe muskurate patients pasand hai!”, (uncle you are very brave and I am glad to see that you aren’t afraid to undergo a small surgical procedure. Infact I1 like such patients who smile like you), his face beamed  with a beautiful smile reflecting a sense of satisfaction as though he had succeeded in achieving what he had wanted.

I couldn’t help but wonder how come after 10 years of living alone since my mother passed away, facing a situation where he will need to undergo a surgical procedure really didn’t scare him within? Should I ask him such a question? Would it make him feel weak if I did?

My line of thoughts was broken by my 5 year old son Soham’s voice when he enquired, “kya bola doctor uncle ne? Kya bola?” (What did the doctor uncle say? What did he say?) I replied that Nanu (maternal grandfather) will need a few tests more to decide if he has to wait for a longer time with us and go back to his home in Mumbai only after his surgery or if he can delay his surgery and go back to Mumbai in a day or two. Folding his hands he immediately said,”please doctor uncle ko bolo ki wait and surgery bole please wait and surgery… abhi Nanu Nahi jaaye!!!! Please please please”.( Please ask doctor uncle to say that he needs his surgery and has to wait back with us for longer duration, Please, please, Please 🙏)

Both me and his Nanu smiled at his innocence and assured to him that Nanu will be here with him for a while. Soham happily hugged him and seeing both of them smiling in each other’s arms all the thoughts of his reports, treatment, surgery disappeared for a while.

I was observing him throughout, my 78 years old papa was indeed trying his best to retain an impression where he won’t be pitied or looked at as a suffering man in his old age, instead just like a child he wanted to ensure that he handled it well and got appreciated for it too ! Seeing him peaceful in Soham’s arms I understood that just like a child he didn’t want to be judged rather he was looking for support, encouragement, affection minus the anxiety, stress and tension that medical suffering in old age automatically brought along.

I too joined in with Soham and papa in a family hug and silently promised in my heart that irrespective of whether my father was scared within or not I would never let him face any of the challenging situations alone that life brought along for him just like he never let me face mine.

– Sonali Bakshi

24th February, 2023