Of pencil skirt, high heels and dreams to relive

Packing all the stuff for Tanya to take with her to the US, Darshana was arranging a few things in the bed storage when she happened to find her long lost love. Her pencil skirt. It had been years now since she wore one but her love for it never really allowed her to give it away either. It fit perfectly back then, highlighting the contours of her body. Her black high heels complimented it to enhance her looks further. How happily she was climbing the ladders of the corporate world , grabbing one opportunity after the other with only one heartache of which she never really could speak, she wasn’t a mother back then.

In every social gathering, family functions or friendly get togethers each eye looked upon her with curiosity and inquisitiveness, some even reflected pity at times as it was ten years since she and Venkatesh were married and yet were not on the family way. She knew of a few who judged her for her obsession of being in shape and fitness or for being successful career wise and took the liberty to conclude those to be the reasons for her not being able to conceive. Obviously she couldn’t go around opening her heart out or publicise to people how hard and desperately she and Venkatesh were trying to have a child and none of it was working out for them. Around their tenth marriage anniversary Darshana was feeling butterflies in her stomach and a different uneasiness which she had never experienced only to later find out that God had his own surprise plans for them. Yes! finally, miraculously and at the most unexpected time God had showered their home with happiness and blessed their life with a new zeal. Darshana was pregnant! Life has this funny way of keeping people engrossed in it she thought, just when one thinks that all is doomed and it’s the end, life, through it’s surprising twists and turns proves that it’s not really an end, just a bend. All went well and there in her arms, nine months later was the most precious of all, the most adorable apple of her eye, her baby girl Tanya.

During her pregnancy she had to give up her pencil skirt, her high heals and post delivery her makeup, nails and what not. The center of attraction in her life was “Tanya” now. From the clothes she wore to the food she ate, the flat bellies or sport shoes which she wore, all of it were decided only on one parameter “is it okay for Tanya??”

All the years of staring eyes and murmuring taunts had haunted and affected Darshana to an extent where she instantly chose to give up her career to raise Tanya herself and what a wonderful job she did. Tanya was a presentable, well mannered, pleasantly well behaved, well read girl.

Tonight Tanya was flying to the US to pursue her masters and a long lost pencil skirt had managed to run through Darshana’s eyes a flashback of the entire journey of her motherhood. Engrossed in her thoughts she didn’t realise when Tanya tiptoed into the room and surprised her with a “boo!!” They both laughed and hugged and she shared with her daughter the story of her pencil skirt deciding to part with it finally, giving it to Tanya to take it away with her to the US.

Tanya could see through her mother’s eyes that which she did not expressly show and could hear those emotions which she did not readily put out in words. She quickly changed the topic saying, “Maa, we need to rush to the Supermarket, I seem to have forgotten to buy a very important thing for myself! Chalo na Maa, jaldi chalo.”(Come on mummy, let’s go quickly)

Buying a beautiful pair of heels from the shop and wine coloured boat necked georgette blouse with light embroidery on the neckline, Tanya took her mother to Cafe Coffee Day for a brownie and a coffee. She handed those bags to her mother and said, “these are for you Maa. I want you to look out for yourself with the same amount of love and dedication that you put in for raising me, I want you to wear these heels because you always loved to do so and I want you to fit into that favourite pencil skirt of yours, even if it is with a little bit of alteration” she jokingly added. “Conceiving me after ten years of marriage was not a choice that you made, life happened to take you through it’s twists and turns at its own sweet pace. You gave up on yourself to make me who I am and now I want you to step back from me to get hold of that Darshana Patel whom you lost on the way towards becoming a successful mother, the one who could achieve all that on which she set her heart. Take up a course Maa, study if you would like, get back to who you were, get back in shape and total control of your life, the Darshana whom I know and have idolised is a go-getter!”

An emotional, tear eyed Darshana held her daughter’s hand tightly and said a love you to her with a smile. Tanya instantly hugged her and said, “I know Maa, you do! I love you too!”

As Tanya sat in her flight that night, staring at the wide moonlit sky Darshana had a new shine in her eyes for her daughter had given her a new pair of wings to fly, a purpose to chase and a strength by her belief to rediscover her life, which no one else would have really thought for her. The relationship which at the beginning was that of a mother and a daughter had now evolved into a beautiful bond of friendship with time. In Tanya, Darshana found her true friend for life!

4 thoughts on “Of pencil skirt, high heels and dreams to relive

  1. So true..all mothers do have this skirt which we at times look at n think..I used to be like this n like that..n then we smile too looking at how full our lives are now with the kids too.wo skirt bhi mai thi aur ye trousers bhi mai hi hoon..a happy me..so much emotion your write up stirred inside me..
    Lovely write up

    Liked by 1 person

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